So the future is in store: when it gets really big, the paddlers will fade and the tow teams will emerge. We won't get to know if Eddie would go, because even if he was here, he would have a crackling, sputtering engine and guys yelling and screaming and a surfer come speeding around the corner, faster than a human can propel themselves without the aid of motor, and the man would stand and fly down this monster wave, not fearing anything because he is so far ahead, so out of danger. But it is not a waterman strapped into that board that dropped in on top of Eddie; it was a real estate agent from Arizona on vacation. He paid the fare and he got to ride. Like Disney-freaking-Land.

Can anyone tell if I am into jet skis or not? Last whiny, bad experience to relate: Just minding my own business one day, hanging down at the beach in Santa No Surfarbara, dipping up to my waist and gazing out at the islands. There is not a spec of surf for miles. All of a sudden here come two teenagers, one on a jet ski the other one towing behind on his surfboard. First of all, it's louder than a car alarm going off. The whole beach is instantly less serene and peaceful. Next, the smell of the exhaust comes wafting by. Great, instead of the smell of fresh ocean air, it's carbon monoxide I am inhaling. Then, without any warning, the driver tows his friend into a half-of-one-foot-close-out-shore break wave twenty yards from where I stand, totally oblivious. One second I am chilling at the beach, enjoying my day, slightly meditative, and the next second I have a guy on a tow board speeding down the line directly towards me. Slash, he sprays several buckets of water over my otherwise still dry upper body and paddles away without a word.

You have got to be kidding me! Isn't that kind of disrespectful? Dangerous? Disharmonious? Unnecessary? Unsettling in the sense that this is the future of our surfing community: unruly young punks who think that the world is their wave. Notice to all of you who fall into that category: paddle out, duck dive, catch waves with your body's strength, be respectful of others and the ocean, and save the aerials for the skate ramp.

ER "Old Man Grumpy" Harris